Home Latest News Excerpt: Momspeak by Pooja Pande-Book excerpts

Excerpt: Momspeak by Pooja Pande-Book excerpts

239.40 Rupees (Kindle edition); Penguin

The sacred connotations and subtexts of motherhood mean that all this becomes nothing more than a religion in which there is only room for absolute devotion and devotion. The discourse on sacred truths is confusing, and one runs the risk of being labelled a pagan. The golden rule and the dictate of the single mother are applied with all their strength in matters of sexuality. Any talk about libido is out of place here – she’s still a mother, so be respectful.

We hear it so often, from boring government reports about women’s safety to cute tweets about merchandise on cool, lifelike walks, but what about respect? Where does it come from and what does it mean? How can we understand that? Is it selective in the sense that we choose to respect one aspect of a mother’s life, her personality, even her body, but not everything else? What about their minds and desires? His body, which also contains his appetite? If we move forward, will we only have respect for mothers and not for other women? The famous Urdu poet and lyricist Javed Akhtar has expressed himself well, i.e. with great impertinence, by deconstructing this commonly used word: If I was the 17th. If my mother had been born on January 17, she wouldn’t have been born until January 17. January deserves respect? Was she like that on the 16th? January then or rather unworthy? What kind of respect is that? My birth gives him respect, in a kind of reflective glory. When we say we respect mothers, we’re not actually saying we respect women. To do it like Oprah, you might say.

But mothers are women.

Nari Ank says it was a guide for Indian women in the 19th century:

The word “ma” has an inexplicable purity… The foundation of true love requires a rejection of selfishness, and the highest form of this love manifests itself in motherly love… A mother’s love does not feel sexual desire, is not unstable through greed and is not spoiled by selfishness.

said Kylie Jenner on her Instagram page: You remind me that motherhood and sexuality can coexist, and just because you accept your sexuality doesn’t mean… You can be sexy and be a bad mother.

Author Puja Panda
(
sisters of Hassanwalya
)

It is fascinating (in hindsight, frustrating at the moment) to see how the arrival of a child can change the dynamics of romantic/sexual relationships. There are obvious ways, such as the physical truths of both a new mother and father (who makes his own echoes, who remain clandestine), the entry of a small new life, which is usually long awaited, into the equation between two adults who have formed – and if you’re lucky, and you’ve worked on it, developed it, and so on. – and the development of a new life. – over a period of time. Like any good Maine Haddie Kabbalah joke worth its weight in spices, everything has to be different. Assuming that the new parents are engaged in what Americans call sleeping together and we Indians are satisfied with sleeping together, the baby is now comfortably situated in the middle of the bed – the pride of the place, and convenient too. If there was a quick and safe way to de-romanize a marriage bed, this is it! A room that contains the burning memories of trying out new positions, the good times in your brain? Yeah, now the baby’s spitting out milk, or maybe you dropped your diapers because you’re too exhausted – not for so many reasons.

All this is of course part of the transition, and the recognition of this fact is part of the journey. There is time in life for everything you want to experience, but what we have to distance ourselves from, question and insist on is a cultural rejection of the mother’s sexuality because it is too serious, too real. After all, sex is also an intimacy, a connection, an expression that makes it difficult to put into words the connection you make with someone special – it’s all wrapped up in lust and liberation. It may be the way you reassess the dynamics of your relationship, but no one tells you and no one thinks it’s important.

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